Dare I say...premarital counseling was a lot of fun! There were parts that were necessary and not so fun (finances! ugh. very necessary and good info but man, it makes my head spin.) But any time I spend with Ryan is usually fun, and time that brings us closer together & to the Lord is the best kind of fun!
So here's the run down of what we did...
Fri night: Started with dinner, sat with an older couple and a younger couple (I thought we were young! These kids are still in college and not getting married until next yr). First session was our church's Pastor talking about the Biblical foundation. He referenced the first marriage, Adam & Eve, and then looked at Ephesians 5 regarding marriage roles, love & respect. After that we did my favorite part: the flag page! We both took this 5 min test before counseling and it told us a lot about ourselves, how we find success in our lives, what motivates us, etc. Check out our flags & how very different we are!! I guess it's true...opposites attract! The only thing Ryan & I really have in common, personality-wise is that we both call "Fun" our adopted country (my home country is Control and his is Peace) and we both consider optimism as one of our driving character traits. If you want to know more about the whole flag shebang, let me know. I think it's really cool, and the inventor dude is actually coming to our church the weekend before Thanksgiving. I can't wait to hear him speak!
Saturday: Started with breakfast, then moved into "10 things we wish we'd known before we were married" by the Young Marrieds Pastor & his wife. My favorite from their top 10 is "If you win, you lose." For those of you who know me, I love to win. I love to be right. I hate to admit that I'm wrong. It's so easy for me to get in a fight or argument and "win" it. But if I win, that really means our relationship has lost. Why? Because we're going to be a team, it's not me & Ryan any more. The pastor asked a very good question: Do you want to be right or do you want to be one?
After that, we split into girls & guys for coaching time. We got these books:
And what we did after counseling was trade books so that Ryan can read & highlight what really applies to him as a guy, and I can do the same for him. Then we'll trade back books, read them and discuss. Ryan's already finished reading/highlighting...I'm a little behind because I've gotten caught up in the Twilight books. (thanks Lauren!)
We actually have a long reading list now...starting with those books, we also were suggested to read Love Languages by Gary Chapman and Intimate Issues by Linda Dillow. We also have a devotional, Before You Say I Do from my friend Raegan that we've been going through...just hope we can get through all this reading before Aug 29th!
Anyway back to counseling! After lunch, we had the finance session. Like I said, not my favorite but a definite must. A lot of the concepts are from Dave Ramsey/Financial Peace so it was good stuff! The guy who taught it said that b/c we went through the course, we could come to him any time and get financial help for free. yay! Then the last session was back to spiritual matters - how to make God the foundation of our marriage. We looked at marriage as a triangle - the 3 points being God, Ryan, and me. So as we strive to grow closer to God, we equally grow closer to each other, and the triangle gets closer as the points move closer together.
So that was our weekend. Good times :) And we can now get a discount on our marriage license. Yippee! Funny last thought - our pastor told us that several couples have asked to take a picture with him for their wedding scrapbooks & blogs. Nice, but we didn't do that. We're not THAT extreme ;)
Love y'all! keep us in your prayers :)
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